Barb Bower, valedictorian this year, addresses the faculty and the senior class, regarding "The Pursuit of Knowledge," Over eighty awards were given at yesterday's Awards and Valedictory Convocation, held in the C.C. Auditorium. The Playshop Theatre will present its commencement show, a revival of Side by Side by Sondheim, June 12 and 13 at 8:45 p.m. in the Campus Center Auditorium. Performed earlier this year, this production, portraying Stephen Sondheim's musical abilities, has been revised and shortened. Directed by Mitchell Matsey, the cast includes Jim Buhnan, Joy Eaton, Laurie Goodwin, Mitchell Matsey, Michelle Pawl( and Richard P. Overmyer as narrator. Under the new administration of Coury and Heilman, ASG has v!iticei its meeting places, meeting in dorm lounges and the C.C. Activities room. Vice-President Carl Heilman commented "We've fulfilled our expectations for this term but we've only just gotten started." Allegheny College Association: Women Receive Scholarships THE CAMPUS OF ALLEGHENY COLLEGE VOL. 104, No. 27 MEADVILLE, Ph., PUBLISHED SINGE 16/6 June 3 , I913i Awards Presented by Margaret Walters Barbara Bower pre3ented the Valedictory Address, "The Pursuit of Knowledge," to the college at the Awards and Valedictory Convocation. Bow- er, recipient of the Louise Jordan Award for superior scholarship and general merit, stated in her speech, "Natural curiosity and the intrinsic satis- faction of self-improvement compel us to learn more about ourselves, about others, and about different cultures, both past and present." man, the government said. Indian news agencies said at least 50 people had been killed in heavy fighting for control of the nation's second largest city, 140 miles southeast of this capital city. Radio Dacca said life was returning to normal Monday for Chittagong's one million residents. The end of the coup attempt was announced on nationwide television and radio by the chiefs of the army, navy and air force. Vice President Abdus Sattar became acting president. Unconformed reports by In- dian news agencies said the leader of the coup, Major General Abul Manzur, was cap- tured Monday night near the Burmese border. However, Radio Dacca continued to broad- cast an offer for the equivalent of a $30,300 reward for his cap- ture. President Ziaur, or Zia as he was called in Bangladesh, came to power in April 1977 when Abusadat Mohammed Sayem resigned in his favor. Zia was confirmed by a national refer- endum a month later. He was the seventh leader of this predominately Moslem nat- ion since it gained independ- ence froin Pakistan after a two-week war in December 1977. This is the last issue of the Campus for this term. We would like to thank all our contributors, and hope that everyone has a great summer. See you in September! Following Bower's ad- dress, President David Baily Harped proceded with the a- wards ceremony. Over eighty awards were given. Katie Moranz received the Lynn Pyle Memorial Award for outstanding service to the college commun- ity. The Kappa Kappa Gamma Alumnae All-College Scholarship prize was awarded to Kathleen Burdick. The William Bentley Prize for advancement of the college community was present- ed to Delese Burden. John Mariano, recently in the Playshop Production, "P.S. Your Cat is Dead" was given the Robert C. Wilson Prize in Drama. Also in the arts, Laurie Goodwin, a promising student contributing to choral music at Allegheny, was awarded Four local women have been named 1981-82 recipients of Allegheny College Association Continuing Education Scholar- ships. Cynthia McMunn, Jill Radi2ella, Darlene Shaffer and Holly Shreve have received part- time tuition scholarships and a stipend for books, according to ACA Scholarship Committee co-chairs Carolyn Yartz and Linda Palmiero. Usually, ACA offers only three scholarships--tuition for one course per term for three terms, plus a book stipend for each term. However, the high quality of this year's applicants, coupled with two unused tuition the Morten J. Luvaas scholar- ship. Carey Walsh's essay, "The Virtue of Education" enabled her to win the Mary A. Flower Prize. For the best piece of creative writing, Donald Utchel received the Sarah Hor- ner Essay Award. Listed in the program were the men's and women's athletic awards and various de- partmental awards for outstand- ing work. Allegheny Student Gov- ernment President Bob Coury gave the introductory and clos- ing remarks. And the choir, under the direction of David C. Cassel, performed Festival Gloria and "Alma Mater Beatissima" to conclude the ceremony. terms from previous recipients, allowed the committee to name four recipients this year. Palmiero said, "They (the applicants) were really top notch. We were pleased to be able to offer a fourth, two-term scholarship to Darlene Shaffer." ACA Continuing Education Scholarships are open to women, aged 25 or over, who have completed no more than two years of college. Tuition is underwritten by the college and the stipend is underwritten by ACA. Co-chairpersons for next year's Scholarship Committee will be Helen Nunn and Jane Lovett. Heavy weapons fire between Syrians and Christians shook Beirut for a second straight day Monday in some of the most intense shelling in two months. Artillery exchanges also broke out around the Christian enclave of Zahle, according to reports from the eastern Lebanese city. Police said 10 civilians were killed and 23 wounded in a barrage that began here in early afternoon and continued for several hours. That raised the toll to 30 killed and 299 wound- ed since artillery duels started at midnight Saturday. The fighting threatened to aggravate the Syrian-Israeli crisis over the deployment of Syria's Soviet-made, SAM-6 anti-aircraft missiles in eastern Lebanon's Bekaa valley and on the Syrian side of the border with Lebanon. U. S. presidential envoy Phil- ip C. Habib is scheduled to return to the Mideast in a matter of days in attempts to reduce tensions triggered by the deploy- ment of the mis- siles in eastern Lebanon on April 29. The Beirut shelling was some of the most intense since Syrian and Christian forces began battl- ing around Zahle on April 1, Police estimate 556 persons have been killed and more than 2000 injured in two months of Christian-Syrian fighting. Government forces recaptur- ed the port city of Chittagong Monday to end a two-day revolt by army officers who killed President Ziaur Rah- World News in Brief CAMPUS Managing Editors Business Manager Editorial Page Editor Assistant Editorial Page Editor Layout Editor Assistant Layout Editor Ad Managers Copy Editors Assistant Copy Editors Sports Editor Assistant Sports Editor Photo Editors Circulation Manager Head Typist Lisa Cirbus Katie Moranz Robert Norris Michelle Shaffer Karen Skarupski Joyce Rulka Jennifer Belasco Lisa Berkenkamp V iki Contie Chris Catanzarite Hester Horton Tanya Linn Margaret Walters Francie Lagana Steve Smith Keith Mueller Ed Vaclavik Susan Wells Barb Patterson CAMPUS ALLEGHENY COLLEGE Box 12 ,on Campus Center Rooms U202, U210 724-5386 7 24-5387 Page 2 Wednesday, June 3, 1981 CAMPUS From The Professor's Pen.. . Remember, You're Among Friends by Dr. Paul A. Knights Last fall an advisee of mine who had been working with the National Park Service brought me, as a present, a Smokey Bear mini-poster on which the caption reads "Remember you're among friends." I accepted it with pleasure as a thoughtful and gracious comment on the nature of our relationship. I also nosted it on my office door as encouragement to freshmen and any others who, passing by, might be feeling distraught or dismayed in unfamiliar surround- ings. As I've gone in and out of that door this year, with my own anticipations and anxieties, as I've sat in that office listening to the troubles and triumphs of others, as T've noticed bystanders' reactions to the poster's message, it has come to me that its greeting is not just for the nervous or the neophyte among us. Its purport encompasses us all. Simply put, it indicates the essence of a collegial atmosphere, for knowledge is useless unless it is shared, and it can be effectively shared only on the basis of mutual sympathy, aware- ness. and resnect. RQgrettably, the processes of teaching and learning are sometimes viewed, at least in a classroom setting, as competitive, or even adversary, situations-- by participants on both sides of the desk. We seem not to be much troubled by that attitude here, but wher- ever it appears I am sorry. Such people are missing the boat. Not only does that condition subvert all educa- tive purpose, but also the process itself. Moreover it takes the fun out of it, and that's the saddest circum- stance of all. Fortunately, much important learning goes on outside the classroom. And not just in the library either. Dining halls and dormitories, locker rooms and playing fields, the Grille, the stage, the gallery--yes, even Teddy's and Harold's--all are arenas for growth and development: of-insights, of ideas, and of the skills of living, particularly of living together. It is the quality and character of this type of learning, it seems to me (after more than four decades of involvement with higher education), that really tests, and also displays, the mettle of any institution. It is certainly gratifying, as the Campus has informed us earlier this spring, that Alleghenians have a fine record of admission to graduate schools, of success in graduate schools, and of professional success after graduate school. But alumni generally have an even better record of success as responsible citizens, great parents, and community leaders all over this land. And the kind of learning which makes that possible has come in large measure from situations and experience that have not been "academic" at all--frequently not even "intellectual." And usually not shared with the faculty. The richness of any collegiate experience de- pends in considera'31e degree on the number and variety of people who are engaged in it, but there is no way of predicting in which direction perceptions are going to flow in any particular encounter. At any college which is really working, even as a social organ- ism, all students will be teachers and all teachers learners. And so it is with us. Time and again faculty colleagues tell me (and my own experience matches theirs) of some new insight crystallized by a student's nuestion, some comprehension extended by an ad- visee's comment, some new avenue of interest opened by a shared realization of mutally incomplete informa- tion. Student friends also report new excitements touched off by instructors' suggestions, fresh realiza- tions generated by challenging examinations, or enrich- ed enjoyment accruing from exposure to fields not previously explored. In such pursuits there are no generation gaps. In such pursuits we all are kin. The Campus welcomes reader response: all reserve the right to reject letters not meeting our grammatical errors. Deadline for letters is 6 p. m. double-spaced, and signed, with a phone number I would like to comment upon Dr. Bulman's article concerning the Honor Code. As chairman of the Judicial Board he is exposed to far more of the faults of the system than am I. He sees the violators and quite naturally assumes that those whom he encounters are only the tip of the iceburg. He may be right. No one can deny that those who were caught may not have been had they been more clever, and had they "learned to cheat well. - Indeed, then, his disillusionment and cynicism is not ill-founded. however, while I recognize that this system is not perfect, not infallible, neither is it a farce. Show me one system anywhere that is perfect, and I'll show you a very oppressed population. When I entered Allegheny, I had recently graduated from a high school (and a rather prestigious one) that had nothing remotely resem- bling an Honor Code. We were expected to try to cheat ("It's A Question Recently, ASG has been insis- ting that it is no longer a rubber- stamp and that it has many energetic, responsible members who are deter- mined to represent the student body. I am one of those people ASG is supposed to be representing and I must say I am extremely upset with ASG. ASG has the potential to become an influential and active organization, but recent events have convinced me that the attainment of this goal is a long way off. On May 19, Tom Van Holt proposed a 100 percent cut of salaries for the 44 students who are paid by ASG. Whether or not a person agrees And -- like Smokey on my poster -- we have many companions, for a vast web of instructional activity and supportive concern operates on this campus among people who would probably never consider themselves to be "teachers" at all. Nurses in the Health Center, Security staff on patrol, department and administration secretaries -- these and many others, first seen as faces at some counter, are constantly shaping student thinking, answering complicated questions, shoring failing courage, nourishing nascent hopes. True, like the faculty, they may admonish and chide; they may enforce regulations or implement sanctions - but they also encourage, and cushion, and rescue, and explain. Always the hope among us, and the expectation, is that whatever occurs may somehow improve the human condition -- may somehow enlarge and enliven the appreciation of what it means to be human, and of what it means to be humane. This is the realm of the greater humanities. Achievement here is success with liberal learning. Let us always be mindful of what such endeavor adds to the vitality, and the quality, of this college. I think I'll move my poster to Lord Gate. Dr. Knights is a professor of history here at Allegheny; he is retiring from Allegheny after 34 years of teaching. ingenious cheating are certainly not going to begin in this atmosphere. It is not the fear of being caught that is deterrent to us, but simply the fact that we are trusted to behave honestly, responsibily, and maturely. Furthermore, it does not take much sense to see the obvious advantages of the system, and appreciate them. I am convinced by what I see around me that the Honor Code, practical and efficient in punishment or not, is a highly effective impetus against cheating. Sure, there are the few who will compromise their personal integrity, behave with contempt towards their entire learn- ing experience, waste their money on an education that they're not getting, and probably get A's. But we are not responsible for them. They will be among us always, and they really will harm none of us more than they will harm themselves. a rli Dwyer the meeting to break quorum so the proposal could not be voted upon. With a smile and a nod, these three people left the room and called for a quorum count. I call this a gross breach of responsibility and an example that ASG is not yet the dynamic and fair institution it claims to be. In a recent petition 98 per- cent of students polled indicated that they felt students should not be paid. Allegheny, I suggest you give the matter some serious thought and elect people who will represent you in the future. Christine Bickerstaff (edited version) Letters To The Editor letters to the editor will be considered for publication. We standards of integrity, accuracy, and decency, and to edit for the Sundae before publication. Letters should be typewritten, for verification. Names may he withheld upon request. The Honor Code--Perhaps Not Perfect, But Not A Farce human nature after all, to try to get more by doing less") and therefore every exam became a game, a com- petition between the student body and the teachers. Cheating (and getting away with it) became honor- able, and the cleverest cheaters held a respected position in the micro- cosmic society of the student body. Therefore, I had excellent training in the subtleties of the fine art of cheating, and I have no doubt that I could cheat monumentally at this school, and never get caught. This, though, is completely besiie the point. The Honor Code at this school shows explicit trust and respect for my integrity as a person, and I would not betray that trust. I have not cheated, nor even been tempted to do so, and I believe that if the Honor Code can reform a veteran cheater (who, incidentally, has never been caught) like myself, then the vast majority of students who have not become accustomed to compromising their integrity by To ASG: Who Do You Represent? or disagrees with Van Holt's proposal is their decision, but it was Van Holt's right to make this proposal and have it heard by ASG. Before Van Holt could open his mouth, a proposal was made not to hear what he had to say. Is this what ASG stands for? Refusing to even hear a legitimate proposal brought before them? Thankfully, this proposal was defeated, but not unanimously. After that, Robert's Rules were often erroneously used to hinder Van Holt's attempts to get his proposal passed. The thing that upset me the most was the action of three ASG representatives who deliberately left 111111 iii= Im m o !! I I rttVItirrIZV graMMtr8111,1§71211VetttrVIPPWInt,WqraVitliteglIMVIIVICIMIVIRMIPPWIMPOIV 11•110111. =mar a■ - ••r vams,fism■ valwr POST ME OF THE MATERIAL WITHIN THESE PAGES MAT BE CONSIDERED OFFENSIVE. 'MGM TASTELESS AND GENERALLY UNFIT FOR PUBLICATION. . . BIM AS THEY SAT-IF Mt CAN'T STAND THE HEAT, STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN! Harned Si • hted! Is it a bird? A plane? No, folks, it's only Dr. Barnum N. Bailey Harned, suppodedly Agony College's most recent prez. We students were fooled into thinking we had a Dark- horse (or at least a Dark Virginian) president but many latest reports have report- ingly reported that yes, there is a live man in the office, and not a blow-up doll. Stake- outs at (the Ivory Tower will be hourly by volunteer stud- ents interested enough in seeing the man who is screw- ing our bank balances and raising the tuition. ,..„.„,„„„„,„„,„„„„„„„„„„„„„,„„,„,„„„„,.....„„„„,,„„„,„„„„.„.. Admiriistration.- in Brief = How many Harneds can you find in this picture? Clue: A Harned is not a feathered species, but he may be fowl. Judicial Cases Hear by Wendall Homes The following cases were heard by the Agony College Judicial Board dur- ing the past three days: A student plead- ed guilty to picking his nose during a "pop" exam, a vio- lation of Article 17 of the Honor Code. It seems a profes- sor thought the "mu- cous material" con- tained information that would aid and abet the said stu- dent during the said exam. Article 17 clearly states that "during no part, and not at all, it's a no-no and so forth of an exam shall an Agony College stud- ent put any part of his body especially fingers, in any If you thought Sport's Illustrated's suits were brief, this week's The Compost features "The Hardly-On," "The Hehnrare" and "The Skinflick." They are on display in the = Ivory Tower. 5mnmmnmmumumumummumumumnmumnmumumumummw= 4 Ye' (g) I 0 A S y . a (0) Dear Marie Sh ingles: In response to your letter (Campus, 4 February, 1981, p.3 column 1). I have pondered many months over your illus- trious question "Is knowledge of your ignorance the starting point for change you think it is?" Of course, it has taken this long because I have spent many months watching the "Soaps" and reading the monthly issues of Playgirl. Please excuse this dealy but there are more impor- tant matters than just Neitzche. a r)') Your letter has done great good. Now, I no longer limit myself to daytime viewing. I have expanded my horizons and never miss "Dukes of Hazard" and "Three's Company." No, Ms. Shingle(obviously female), my life is not based on a simple game. How can you consider Backgammon or Mono- poly as such? These are challen- ging and intellect-enhancing ex- periences. You're just jealous because nobody will play with you. Sincerely-- "It Seems To Me" Dear light-footed and fancy-free stu dents, You're just lucky we didn't haul out the whips and chains at the Steeltown Rocker's Concert! If you can't understand we're on a macho trip, then tough luck! We only get paid to build our muscles, not our minds. It's about time I clear up this mess. The obnoxious, little squirt had the gumption to boogie on my turf. In a soft-spoken tone of voice I warned the kid politely: "Sit down in that seat or you're dead!" Me and my boys showed him who's boss. In the future we'll continue to keep you long-haired, spaced-out, hippie- type pinko fags under control. Gotta run now. I'm late for my Hitler Youth meeting. Respectfully yours, John Birch a Ry 28 Dead Disneys - Cinderella Tired of rock, disco, punk, frusion, classical, and kabuki music? Then this group will really knock your socks off. Lead singer, Snow White, really belts out those tunes with a natural echo in her voice, putting Pat Benatar to shame. Cuts include "We're off to maim the Wizard, "Zippidee-for pidgeons." This band has caught on fast. Don't get left behind by this album. Above all, this album is hauntingly reminscent of the Kinks. Stiff Little Dead Kennedy's - Nobody's For Rotting Vegeta- bles This band is a merger of two really good bands. Buy this album. Each cut contains really good stuff. Definate influence by the Sex Pistols, but all in all, if I had to pick one band to sum up their music, the Kinks. This band is really reminiscent of the Kinks. Captain Senseless revealed. Ite**X8COMM New Releases Anthony Newleys new album Throwing Bananas in Berlin Soundtrack from that new movie Gidget goes to Cambodia Ronald Reagan recites Jokes about Menstration - tel Sound Effects, vol. 3 SPECIAL* * AFTERbiwrii of A Cow! Sleazy Surplus Flakes Moron Rub More-ass Myjodc (hotelier Carobs CorruptAci Moist Puka Jennifer Bareassgo Lisa Parkin-tramp _ Ricky Y' Can't See Chris Cantallnight Fester Snorton Tonican Ginn Market Falters Fancy Iguana Leave Shit Teeth Mounter Ed Studlovit Man4ging Editors Business IN tanager Editorial Page Editor Assistant Editorial Page Editor Layout Editor Assistant Layout Editor Ad Managers Copy Editors Assistant Copy Editors Sports Editor Assistant Sports Editor Photo Editors . , . ... COMPOST PAGE 2 This academic term Agony College has imposed yet another infringement upon the rights of students. Four yellow posts, installed in the pavement in front of the C.C., constitute a flag- rant disregard of the ideas and demands of the student body. We,. the Editorial Board of the CAMPUS, have decided that these pc.3ts impose a traffic flow unnatural to the normal migration pa,:terns of student traffic. Furthermore, how many students were consulted as to the number and color of these posts? Des- pite the fact that Dean Skinflick may have talked with a few student leaders for their opinions, ASG most surely did not have adequate time or opportunity to form an ad-hoc student commit- tee to discuss this issue pertinent to every member of the Agony community. What has happened to democracy? (Rumor has it that Virgnia has repossessed it.) The Editorial Board realizes that it is not only Bentley which is at fault. If students are not willing to organize and voice their opposition to arbitrary Bentley decisions such as these, then it is our fault that students are oppressed. And treated as 3-year old children. We feel that the solution to overcome problems such as these is through open communication. Agony faces a difficult decade ahead. If the administration and students can not learn to respect each other's opinions on all issues, Agony may become just another statistic of dead colleges.* *We realize these are only our opinions and really mean nothing at all. , • .. , • . ST I r I Editorial Board members Wretched Spitzer, Kevin Wedgy Petty Buttocks Valerie Dict Moron Sleazy Surplus Will-he Hurt rl2ky Moron Mock Chafeher Gland Pumpsem The first side featuring rude household noises comes off a little subtle. The sound of a cat deficating on an electric razor is barely discernable from a fat lady frying her fingers. Despite its faults, though this album works. The second side featur- i • ing sounds on a typical day in a public restroom is a master - stroke of its producer, Steve I...,;verwhite's genious. The cut "Male Flatulance on a hot day" is definately reminescent of the Kinks. I Plink fans! Check out this new album, "Sex and Drugs and Lawrence Welk Buy it! Steal it! Do any- thing to get it! It's destined to become a classic. The lyrics by Norma Zimmer reflect her new - found style. She strains her vocal cords in a manner strange- ly reminiscent of the Kinks. Now AvAilAblE ONLY AT THE SWILLE REMEMbER, WE STILL NAVE LEFTOVER MUSkRAT dRoppiNqs! Agony's faculty and administration join seniors at an Open Mike Night at Bert's Strip Joint. Dean Skinflick led the Alcohol Task Force in a rendition of "How Dry I Am." MN NM IM II NM 11•111 • OM NM NM =3 lom ow on =3 son I AINI NM OM MI OM BIM MI 1•11 NM NM OM MI WM NM I= MI NM MI MI IIIIE =I MI6 Join the Army!! Go to exotic places- meet new interesting people.. Then KILL them. Sponscred by your local ROTC I " WE LEAVE OUR MARld " ill0414111■4 MINIM MEW MEW /4111111114 MIIIIMD4 MINIM MINN MINIM MINIM) MIN.( MINIM MEW )111■04M111109■4 MEW( MINIM ).■004111111111041111111■04111111104 MIMID04111111,0011104141111.110041.1114 MINIM *MEM compost page 3???????? Allow MIEN MEW )411.1.4 MINIP4 14.111M MEND4 )4111W )0111.4 )4.11■( MEM( ) )41.1■4 )IMD4 MIIIIIM )41.04 MINIM MOWN YINNIN MOEN NNW MOW ) ■IMI NNW MEW 141■4 MOW >10 Pub Crawling With . . . Dean Don Boveville Skinflick This week I thought we'd take a look at Bert's-the strip 'joint. Now I've spent many fun t evenings there and I know that the Allegheny community would enjoy it too. And if any of you macho Allegheny men are into good-looking women, well, this is the place for you. The booze is cheap (and so are the women), the atmosphere ' is sleazy, and the people are GREAT! I mean, you couldn't ask for a more well-rounded bunch of guys--and girls,of course. My friend, the Polish Nag was with me and he really ` enjoyed himself too. One of my good friends (I won't mention this name, but he's the head of 4the Administration). said that he by Rex Reads There is a fine `exhibit of photogra phs, oil paintings and artsy-fartsy crafts in, yes. you .guessed it. the boa rdman and Painalack Galleries again. To , my understanding, the show will go on indefinitely until "they" can think of new and creative thought the place was "simply Divine." And, best of all, there are 3 bowls of popcorn strate- gically located throughout the area and a glass of Coke costs only $2.50. Also, and this is a personal concern of mine, everyone there was very responsible concerning the amount of alcohol they consumed and in what manner. I was quite pleased. I mean, at least the guys knew what kind of girl they were taking home-none of that "After a few beers everything that has two legs looks great." The Alcohol Policy Task Force and I took our recommendations down with us artsy-fartsy crap to fill up space that nobody goes to see anyway. Now I'm afraid that i haven't gone to the "show" so I can't really give it a proper review. Hey, you know, like I was busy--I had a big Let together and had to worry and also took a complimentary copy for the owner. He was really receptive to the ideas and next week we're going to stop by Teddy's and talk to Keith about closing his bar on Satur- day nights so they can have A.A. meetings there at night (It'll probably be the same crowd anyway). Well, gang, it's Tuesday night and as you know, Meadville residents have recently instituted "all-community quiet hours." So I'm going to head back to my room, put my headphones on (Ted Nugent, Live) and finish off the evening with a couple of high-balls. about what beer to get and how many ounces I could af- ford--so I'm sorry, Life's tough. Get out of here, knuck- leheads. But... But I have a friend who went and told me all about have been better. It seems the photos were all taken by Artsy-Fartsy Review.. . Judicial Cases con, -nrofessors (no, I ;',on't mean stolen) and the paintings and artsy-fartsy ents. Now tell me. don't professors have a job?--like when do they have Now listen Gallery it's "cute" that you have space filled creatively, but cut us a break and get some real art in there O.K.? Impove your act. Now get out of here. time to take pictures? it. The "show" could °rafts done by stud orafices which ex- ude "mucous material, thereby ,"picking" the said body part. If this action is done. you are gonna be . in heaps of trouble." However, the case was acquitted when it was learned that the person in question was not an Agony College student, as spec- ified in Article 17 of the Honor Code. He was merely a "townie" who was bored and wanted to do something, so he "came up on the hill" (his words) and sat in an arbit- rary classroom, one that just happened to give a test that day. Other cases were ignored, since during the lunch hour at the Swille, the Board pot smashed and vot- ed to suspend hear- :rigs indefinitely. Prestigious winner of the Ruth Knight's Award for the most outstanding junior (out standing in the snow?) 1111'111111111111 COMPOST Page 4 • ■■•■•• ■•...• • •••••••■ ••••■•■ a. .11, • .1....1.V■0....■•■••■•••■•• ......11,..•• ■■■•• ••••• • • •••■• • •••••••••••••••■• • ••■.• ••••• • • .1, so ......ir.....1r•••.......••••■•■ • ••■•••■■•••••■■■• ••••. • • •••• • • ...••• • •••••• • •••• • • ••••• • ■•.. • • ....••••••.••••••••••■•••••■• •••••••■•• • ••■••• • • •••••• • •••■••..• • • •■•, •• •••.. • • •••..., Classifieds*************************** Classifieds APARTMENT: 570 Ferd St. sublet- ted for summer. Features four walls Per room and a toilet that flushes. No offer refused, although some may be laughed at. Call 724-6251 between 2 and 4 a m. Ask for Wazmo. tt t LLB. You left the seat up again, I fell In. I hate your guts. I hope you die over the summer. love, S.N.M. Amr.,.••■■••••■•••■••■■•••■•••■•••■■■••■■•■■■•••■• FUND: Large brown fuzzy thing found nn Bentley lawn. Anyone having Information as to Identity of owner or even what the hell it Is —please call 0 and ask for Opey Rator. t t ttt WANT TOHELp PICK UP GAR- BAGE on the C.C. lawn? If this sounds Interesting to you, call 724-6251. (Pre-meds; this will look great on your resume) WANTED: Ride to Cambodia. Will help with gas, cooperate In all sexual encounters, and push whenever ne- cessary. ttt Professional child exterminator. Tir- ed of pesky, unwanted children? Sick of dirty diapers? Fed up with unfiushed toilets? Call Child Exter- minators Inc. 7246251. Sadlstfac- tlon Guaranteed. '-'al=assouviazimiminz=asmicy=ms SPERM WANTED: Due to a huge emergency, sperm donors are urgent- ly needed. No genetic qualifications. If Interested come to Gysm Sperm Bank or call 724-6251. t t t Penobody, I'm pregnant Joan Fontaine ttt Joan Fontaine, O000000pps Address unknown Hey Gators! Interested In kinky bedroom recreation? I've been forced to relocate and I've gnt this neat apparatus that enables you to lower your partner from the ceiling. Serious Inquiries only. Call 724-6251. ttt LOST: College President In the vacinity of Highland Ave. Answers to the name of Davey. 5'10", 170 ibs, highwaters, slicks hair forward. If found please contact Bentley. t t t Recently named director of Concert Security, Willy Coldwar. :i. Well You're are an Agony Student Now....; but can you tell time? If you think you ?can, take this simple quiz. The clock ;displays the proper time to: il. go to your 10:40 class. 12. go out on Sat. night. 13. get up. i4. get it up.?1 i 5. study till 2:00. i ; 6. shoot your roomie. i 7 screw your roomie's girlfriend. i i 8. screw your roomie's girlfriend then i sh 0( t her . i 9. shpc t your roomie's girlfriend then f screw her. it IC i1 O I l=31•01 is idezan=I I In )Ii 118W03131111111=I¢:IIMOIMMEMMISPIMI L niziocanstranzeircw arsitzdamerc QUIZ 'Mich one is Agony Collee 71-esient 7ff-ne,-3? If ry picked; A/ Maybe you should go back to high school. !/-12 Nice try guess again. #3 You're getting close. Shame on you! =111111111CDPIZIOSSCIMMINIMMICCSISI=IIIZOINNIBMICZNININVIMIM rwerinurtzameneim:srse rsumecarestm azonssmictzrenz:mase ntim azassostmearsommzeM CAMPUS Wednesday, June 3, 1981 Page 3 Remembering those who helped to make us No. 1 Beth Parker and NI VP Karen Brody spike up ano- ther winner. Six Gator wrestlers places high in PAC's at the end of a difficult season. 4 lonely Gator stands on the sidelines, as his team loses to John Carroll Juniors Phil Murphy and Darryl Dawson supplied the energy for Allegheny's number spot in the PAC's. Sophomore newcomes Jeff Bauman, sets up a goal for the Gator soccer squad. Sophomore Tom Held, stri- ded through two fine running seasons this y, ear. Senior Lisa Myers was named Paced by All-American Ed Podufal, Allegheny placed fourth an Academic All- American. The Gator Hockey Club had a fine season, before being in National Division III. Trilled in the semi-finals. ny evant overlooked in this retrospection, was not intentional or personal in any way. I I Senior Steve Kaufman serves up another PAC championship. Gator sniker Tom Shirley, nuts his heart into a season Captains Dave McKee and Terry Hartfort led the Men's Swim Team to a great season. Ted Gernmell's Lacrosse Club finished with 8-3 tally despite an awesome season. Gitaiteeys Restaurant & Pub 7 340 Conneaut Lake P . 724-8300 OPEN 7 day_ I week ASG Presents Robert Redford and Jane Fonda in the comedy "Barefoot in the Park" Tonight at 9 p.m. in the C.C. Auditorium Page 4 Wednesday, June 3, 1981 CAMPUS SIFIEDS* * *CLASSIFIEDS* * *CLASSIFIEDS* * *CLASSIFIEDS* * *CLASSIFIEDS* * *CLASSIFIE Summer Apartment for Rent: Place: 725 Baldwin St. Price: $49/month Qualifications: Male Call: 7^1 - 9589 ask for Jim. * * The -Last Adventures of Ann and Hester, Martha and Annette: Yes folks, these may be the last adventures you see of us. You see, Martha and Annette are gradu- ating—Ann will be leaving next March and Hes Is her usual confused self. So depending on the reader's de- mand, there may be no more classi- fied adventures. However this Is pending. Congrats to all our friends who are too numerous to name, except for Mr. Redcar (Gary) and his girl (Karen) and Mr. Montecarlo (Mick) since their names never appeared In this section. Good Luck and Good - bye — how's that for poignancy and piquancy? Pusii- laminous. * * Found: A woman's watch behind Cafllsch in the parking lot on Tuesday, June 1. Call 337 - 8315 to claim It. THE CLASH — SANDINISTA! Tremendous is a good adjective for this three record album. _The Clash continues to progress in their musical careers. From gospel to funk to reggae to all out rock and roll, it's all here. Sandinista is a very good album at a low price you won't believe. TOM PETTY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS — HARD PROMISES For some reason, this sounds like Bruce Springsteen, but a little toned down. It's good rock and roll throughout, with a touch of southern rock on a few tunes. It's nice to hear straight rock with the market flooded with mindless jibberish Good-bye and have a great summer to friends on first floor Brooks. Love & Luck, LAB The Weary Adventure of Ann and Hester, Martha and Annette: By the time you read this readers, Mart should be done with her comp - Annette returns from Pitt - Ann fails over Niagara - Godot tells Hes to go on ahead (stop waiting) - Sparky hasn't overpowered us lately, cuzins from Michigan visit (how long Is Daddy's?) Chapin is harry as ever (sometimes a banana is Just a banana) - Circle K gets an H - Greetings and Salutations to Chime, Big Ben, Mr. Redcar, Mr. Montecario, Karen, Les, Penobody & Joan & locked cars and howdy Rhett. Dear Narek, I'm gonna miss you. Your Rabbit by Styx and Journey type bands. PUBLIC IMAGE, LTD. — FLOWERS OF ROMANCE John Lydon (a.k.a. Johnny Rotten) has made yet another fascinating album. There are no pop hits, but each song is similar to a sculptu:e. Drums dominate the entire al- bum, an effect that makes you listen to each beat. A fine album from P.I. VARIOUS SECRET POLICEMAN'S BALL An all - acoustic album of all stars. Pete Townsend, Tom Robinson, Neil Innes and John Williams all contribute fine songs for Amnesty International. If you see this album, buy it. You'll be sorry if you don't. Penobody& Joan - lock any cars lately? The puppy population is overrunning the doberman territory. See you later - sorry no poem this week. We're weary - Terrace St. Gang Career Services also has Information of positions available In everything from editing to accounting with the PA civil service program. These positions are full time. * * * Apartment for rent — cheap-3 bedrooms, full kitchen, livingroom, excellent location, please contact either Carey W. or Mary Beth H. or Terri H. at 724 - 9613. SUMMER JOB: A truck driver Is needed at Hite Company In Meadville . The Job Involves making deliveries of electrical equipment a d working In a warehouse. Applicants must be able to lift heavy weights and be familiar with the Meadville area. For more Information, contact Career Sery ices. *** WANTED — Books and records used but not abused. Cash or trade. See Gary at Amber Crystal. GANG OF FOUR — SOLID GOLD On this album, Gang of Four outdo themselves com- pletely. Their style of quirky, stop - go melodies is finely tuned on each of the album's songs. Highly political lyrics remain, and are more sarcastic than their last effort. Definitely an album worth getting ahold of. Remember that ASG Refrigerator Returns are THIS THURSDAY, June 4 from 1--4 P.M. at the C.C. Squash Courts (behind the Grille). At this time your $20 deposit will be returned. If the refrigerator Is not cleaned only $10 will be returned. If Your refrigerator is not returned You will be charged the full price of the unit. I lost a red notebook which has my notes for two current classes, Statistics and Shakespeare. I'm desperate to get it back before exams, so if you run across it please return It to Walker 167 or call 724-9620. Ask for Terry. dr * * LOST: A pair of prescription eye- glasses In a tan case. If found , contact Louise Dailenbach, box 770 or call 336-4541 and leave message. * * * The Pennsylvania Department of Transportation is developing a Job bank of qualified cnadidates Interes- ted In being considered for future management positions. Most posi- tions at this level require a college degreee. *** State government has a continuing need for qualified individuals. If any students In the graduating class are Interested In being considered for employment as positions become available, they should be encouraged to complete an application and return It to the PA department of Transportation. Schedule changed — now seeking housesltter for period July 1 - August 25 (approx.). 1 bedroom. See Dr. Seelbinder, Chemistry, -5363 or 333 - 6813. To the Campus Crew— Thanks for making my third term return great. I had almost forgotten what "3 a.m. Tuesday night" meant, and now, I'll never forget. Good luck next year! the Elder Editor The Sports Staff wishes to extend appreciation to those who helped us effectively cover the sports through- out the year. Again, thank you. To Des, Mike B., and Mike L Musical clothes Is the game to play What we saw, we won't say 1,2,3 off the bridge you went That cop knew we weren't talking sense Oh yes, Des was really spent, If only he could remember where he went But Mike L was not far behind The pig thinks he's out of his mind. Mike B. did not waste any time Learning to find real estate signs. That evening sure was not a bore Tell us, what do you do for an encore? Esh, Betsy, Deme, Duffy FOUND: At Robertson Field, a yellow slicker with a watch In one of the pockets was found several weeks ago. To claim the slicker and watch, see Ted Gemmell in the Career Ser- vices office. Capt. Sensible's Music NOT NOISE Your Hosts Chuck and Ruth Anderson Lunch and Dinner Specials Daily Specializing in Steak , Seafood and Entrees by our staff Located 11/2 miles west of 179 on Route 322 CAMPUS Box 12 Allegheny College Meadville, PA 16335 Second Class